Wow! This can be a hard topic for a variety of reasons.
I feel like you can take two approaches with this one: you either want your ex-boyfriend to stop visiting you at work, or you actually enjoy it when your ex-boyfriend comes to visit you at work.
So let’s start with the first one. Let’s imagine that you want to get back together with your ex-boyfriend, so him visiting you at work is actually a perfect thing, right?
Well, possibly, but we would have to weigh the pros and cons of that first. So let’s start with the cons.
How does your boss feel about your ex-boyfriend just making an appearance?
Many bosses might consider this type of thing to be unprofessional. I know when I worked with the public before, even just having friends visit for an extended period of time (or even a short period of time) was a no-no. Visitors can be a lot for some bosses to take.
Let alone the emotionally charged aspect of it all if you throw your ex-boyfriend into the mix! Having a surprise visit from your ex-boyfriend can really throw your day off at work. So if you have a day that you need to get a lot done, maybe you should avoid your ex-boyfriend even if he does come in to visit.
Of course, you can be polite about it, but it would be a good opportunity for a follow-up conversation. Or even maybe a chance to send that text message you’ve been hoping to send to your ex!
Does it bother your coworkers if your ex-boyfriend shows up at work?
I noticed the relationship drama of my coworkers. I even noticed happy things in their relationships, like bringing flowers. But if your coworkers are noticing your ex-boyfriend is showing up at your work, they might start gossiping about his visits. You know how workplace drama can be. Do you really want to feed into it by having your ex hanging around your job?
How would you feel if your ex started dating one of your co-workers?
Coworkers can be vicious! When my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, my old manager at Old Navy told me that she wishes she could date him! She said to me, “oh Andrei! at least he’s single now for me! he is so cute I wanted for myself!”
That made me cringe. First of all, how insensitive can somebody be to say something like that when my heart is clearly breaking? But it’s sadly highlights the reality of the situation: coworkers can be vultures. And some people have low enough self-esteem are low enough morals that they will swoop right in and take your ex-boyfriend even if they have to look at you the next day at work.
Think about it. How many couples do you know that mad at work my parents met at work! So, it is a very high possibility that your ex-boyfriend might end up dating one of your co-workers if he spends too much time at your workplace.
Ask your ex to visit you at work closer to lunch breaks.
If your ex coming to your work doesn’t bother you, then try to schedule it around your break time. That way all of the consequences that we talked about earlier are much easier to avoid.
Your coworkers will probably hardly notice your ex is there if you slip out and have it perfectly aligned with your break.
Get a no trespass order if your ex showed up at your work.
When I worked at Old navy, this old lady was really mean to one of our managers. And she was given a no trespass order by the company and pretty much was never allowed back in any Old Navy.
So, there are companies that are willing to ban certain individuals on behalf of their wonderful employees. And you, dear reader, are most certainly a wonderful valuable employee. So if necessary, consult with your human resources department about getting a no trespass order. That is a sure way to make sure your ex stops showing up at your work.
And if he doesn’t? Or she…let’s not be sexist haha. Well you bet your bottom dollar there will be consequences.